Fuel

I have a confession. And I know it's probably a terrible thing, but...I have this horrible habit of waiting as long as possible before refilling my tank of gas in my car. It's kind of like a weird game of chicken, where I see just how long I can drive with the gas light on before I break down and get more gas. My dad says it's really bad for my car and stupid, considering I could get caught in traffic and run out. And he's right. It is.

I was thinking a lot about this tonight. And you're probably seriously reconsidering your decision to read this blog right now, but I promise I'm going somewhere with this. As christians, we have this habit of doing that same thing to our relationship with God. We see how long we can go on a spiritual high before we "fill up" again. And that's wrong. Our relationship with God needs to be something we are constantly and consistently pursuing. We don't have any idea of the things we might face on any given day. We don't know the people God has placed in our paths to talk to on any given day. So it's better to be prepared that to come up short. We don't need to wait until we need to hear something from God before we seek Him. We should already be doing that, seeking Him everyday and asking the Holy Spirit to invade us.

All this has been brewing in my mind because lately I've really felt convicted in my own life. Seek God first. Because let's be honest, if you feel far from God, it's your own fault. God doesn't leave us, we wander off. It's a constant process. Seek God; find Him. It's not so much that we're asking the Holy Spirit to be present in our lives. Because as christians, the Holy Spirit dwells within us. Our prayer should be that we will recognize it and respond to it.

There is a phrase that I really hate. And that is "spiritually mature". There is never a time where after reaching a certain level of righteousness, a man shows up at your door with an award stating you've reached full spiritual maturity and then confetti cannons go off. That's because maturation is continuous. We work for it, but it's not something we can actually achieve here on earth. Although I do know there are some people father along in their maturation than others, we all have things we need to work on, learn. Maybe it's not so much a matter of where you are in your growth, but the fact that you are still growing and not becoming stagnant.

All this just to say, pursue God everyday. Don't wait until you have a need or the low fuel light comes on.

Good artists inspire other artists to be good artists.

I feel exactly like this about musicians.

The world does not need more Christian writers. It needs more good writers who are Christians. -- C. S. Lewis

some more stuff.

Sometimes I meet people and wonder how on earth they were able to obtain a boyfriend/girlfriend. Then I meet their significant other and it all makes sense. Then there is the other side of that where I wonder how on earth some people are still single.


There is nothing more beautiful to me than being able to see God in someone else. In what they say. In how they act. In how they treat others. It spills out of them onto everything they touch. I guess a simple word for it would be character. It is a rare thing to find. And when it's found, I can't help but admire it.

stuff

I've so much on my mind and heart lately. God's been pulling weeds out of me that were rooted pretty deep. One of those being fear. Because the truth is, I'm afraid of what God's calling me to do.
I've always felt God calling me into doing something musical. Music has always been a huge part of my life and I believe God has woven it within every fiber of my body. There is just something about music that moves me like nothing else does. It's like someone reaches down into my soul and strums it like a harp; it resonates with in me. That is an incredibly cheesy analogy, I know. But I don't know how to explain it really.

I've felt Him calling me to do this for some time now. But I keep throwing excuses at Him because I'm scared. I'm not a great singer. I'm definitely not anywhere near a great guitar player. My piano is limited. Why not pick someone better equipped and talented? I've been fighting this for a while, but God got a hold of me a few weeks ago and gave me a good shaking. I was sitting in New Testament class and my teacher was talking about when Jesus chose his disciples. I guess I should blame the felt-board stories from sunday school, but I always pictured the disciples as full grown men with beards and laugh lines. However, some of the disciples were actually several years younger than I am now when God called them to follow Him. And he didn't call the rabbis. He didn't go after the greatest scholars and political leaders. He called fishermen. He called doctors.

Because He doesn't care about the amount of degrees you possess. He doesn't care if you aren't the best. He wants to use you because it is in our weakness that His power is the most evident. 2 Cor. 12:8-10. When God uses our weaknesses, we can't boast. Because it is only through his power that we are what we are. There is no sense in being afraid. And what am I afraid of? Looking like a goob? Being laughed out for sucking so bad? It doesn't matter. because it's not about me. It's about trusting God. And if God wants me to get up on a stage and play a song that may possibly be the cheesiest thing the world has ever heard or if he wants me to lead a group of people in worship, as long as that is what He wants from me. I'll do it. I'm a servant. And servants don't choose the tasks they are assigned. they simply do what their master asks of them. no questions asked.

weddings...

everyone is getting married. what is with this trend?

J-Team '10

Looks like God wants me back in Jamaica this summer. Maybe it's to lead worship for the team or maybe it's just to check on my little man O'shane. Who knows. I don't know what God is thinking. I have no money saved. And I don't even know if there is a spot open, but I definitely feel that's where I'm meant to be. And if this is what God wants, He'll make a way.