Clair de Lune

Hey it's 3am. Also in other news, it's the last day of 2009. This is exciting and a relief at the same time.

I should be sleeping, but I'm on a bit of a sugar high right now. Probably because I just devoured the rest of my bag o redvines (which I've come to the conclusion are much better than Twizzlers. Plus the name sounds much cooler. but I digress...) while watching a delightful film. Then I sat up trying to write for 30 minutes because I had too much coffee at starbucks earlier. But that turned out to be a blessing in disguise because when I got home tonight, my mother was on a cleaning frenzy and I needed the energy for the chores that awaited me.

On the subject on cleaning, I think I have an unhealthy addiction to the smell of laundry. Let be clarify, CLEAN laundry. It smells like nostalgia. not sure why. but when you smell it, it's like you're trying to remember where you've smelt it before. then again, it's probably just me...

I finally went to see the new disney movie tonight, which rekindled my love for them. I'm thinking about having a disney movie marathon night sometime soon. All the classics, i.e., Aladdin, Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid, etc. Oh and everyone's invited. only requirement is that you sing along with all the songs.

I'm desperately craving the beach right now. I know that's odd seeing as it's winter and freezing outside. But I miss the warm sun and the sand under my feet. I want to walk on the beach at night. Right now. See the moon kiss the waves with each swell. There is something hauntingly beautiful about it. and I miss it.

there was really no point to this blog other than to wait out this sugar high.

I still want a puppy.

Too much caffeine.

Today I came to several revelations while sipping on a peppermint mocha in starbucks.

1. I really love peppermint. It’s like a Christmas party in my mouth. It’s good.

2. Eavesdropping can be very entertaining. Tonight I overheard an interview with a writer for the charlotte observer and a conversation about a chili cook-off. For that last one, I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing thanks to a Mr. Seth Galifianakis.

3. I love Fleet Foxes and Monsters of Folk more and more each day.

4. I have been incredibly selfish lately. I haven’t been loving people as I should or been still, listening for God’s voice. I’ve been too busy being wrapped up in my own desires. And I’m changing that right now. The life in my veins and breath in my lungs is not mine to waste.

5. I’m a hopeless romantic. But I can’t help it. I’d just be nice to find that guy I’m meant for. That I can care for, listen to, pray for, kiss his forehead when he’s had a bad day, surprise him with a cup of coffee, laugh with, cook for.

6. And lastly, I think I want to work at a camp this summer. I just don’t know where.

"We in our foolishness thought we were wise."

Why is it that, even though as a Christian we are supposed to trust God in every aspect of our lives, we still try to plan it out ourselves. Why is it that we think we know God's plans better than he does? There are times when I think about certain situations and I begin constructing these huge castles in the sky of the way I'd like things in my life to go, only to see them broken down before my eyes in a cloud of humility. And there in the midst of it all is God holding the pieces going, "when are you going to trust me with this?"

It's funny. Because sometimes I think I have trusted God with it, when I really haven't. Or I'll assume, because at the time it makes sense or seems right, that it's what God wants for my life. But sometimes, and most of the time, what God wants is far from what we want.

God knows the desires of my heart. I trust Him. And I'm done being a fool.