Dating & Chipotle

There is a reason there are hundreds of apps and websites dedicated to dating. It’s somewhere embedded into our soul: a need for intimacy. Whether it be platonic or something romantic, we need it. God placed that desire within us before we were even considered. It’s in our very nature to crave companionship.  And it’s perfectly ok to want it and to want it badly.

However, I don’t think we should let being single get us down. Let me give you an example. I really want a cello. I’ve known for a while now that I wanted one. But I’m not quite ready to put in the time to learn how to play it so I’m going to save my money until the time is right. Or I’ve got the time, but not the money to buy the one I really need. And rather than waste my money on a cheaper one that would make anything I played sound sour, I’m going to hold off  for a bit because having good tone is worth it. (Because it absolutely is. Am I right, fellow musicians?)

That being said, I can be content in the knowledge that I can purchase a cello whenever I’m ready. And until I’m ready, I can be doing other things like research which cello is best and how to play it well. You can be happily single.

Now onto a subject that has me really fired up and probably my whole reason behind writing this.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you are not ready to get married and have a serious relationship with someone, do not start dating. If you don’t have a clear picture of the type of person you are looking for to spend the rest of your life with, do not start dating. Hate me all you want, but you will end up with a broken heart or breaking someone else’s heart when it was completely avoidable. I thought about this the other day at Chipotle.  I know what you’re probably thinking, but I promise I’m going somewhere with this.

I was driving down the road. My stomach was growling the loud chant song from the last Batman movie and I thought, I’m starving. I’m getting a steak burrito from Chipotle today. I pulled in the parking lot and was super pumped to get in the ridiculously long line and wait my turn for that delicious bundle of ingredients both marinated and anointed by the Lord and swaddled with manna from heaven. So I walk in to wait my turn. And as I’m getting up closer to the assembly line, I can see there’s a hold up. The guy a few people ahead of me doesn’t know what he wants. I hear him going back and forth with the servers, “Well which is better, steak or chicken? I think I’d like the steak because I love steak. But the chicken looks good too. Maybe both?” And I’m just standing behind this guy thinking, if you didn’t know what you wanted, why are you in line? People are hungry and waiting. I drove twenty minutes out of my way through horrendous traffic to get some Chipotle and now I’m tempted to just walk out. Finally, the guy decided on the chicken and moved on. The girl serving the food gave me an exasperated look and silent apology for the delay even though it wasn’t her fault. And I got my food and went on my merry way. 

And that’s where it dawned on me that dating is a lot like Chipotle.

If you don’t know what you want and you’re not ready to order, DON’T GET IN THE LINE. It just wastes time for all involved. Look at the guy ordering. He had no clue what he wanted and stood looking at the same two meats for ten minutes before choosing and the poor girl serving was confused and frustrated. Look at it from her perspective. She’s been there all day preparing this food to serve and this guy’s giving her the runaround before deciding to go with what the girl with the chicken has to offer. And here I am, having walked across Egypt for some delicious Chipotle knowing full and well what I want, and I can’t get to it because Mr. Indecision is blocking my way.

This is all I’m trying to say. When you date someone or decide to pursue a relationship without knowing your intentions going in or without knowing what you want, you are not only wasting your time but theirs as well. And it almost always ends in heartache for one of those involved, if not both. It’s a dangerous game and more importantly it’s being a poor steward of your love and affection. Guard your heart. Make it something that must be sought after so only those really and truly seeking it with the truest of intentions can have access to it. I promise it will be worth it.  All the lonely days and nights of longing for companionship will all be worth it and you will actually be thankful for that time if you’re using it wisely.

My Name Is Kasey and I Am Basic

I have a disease. It's this terrible thing I do with my mind where I compare myself to other people and their accomplishments and end up feeling as small and insignificant as a tear drop in the ocean. Ok, that's a little extreme. I don't actually feel quite THAT small, but I do get an overwhelming sense of inadequacy. I'm just basic. Basic as in I am the base model. The iPhone 3 in a world of 6+. Your basic white girl, if you will. But no PSLs for me, I'll stick with my favorite basic drink: black coffee.

        

 I am not the prettiest, smartest, or even wittiest person in the room. And I often find myself screaming on the inside because I have this need to be perfect. As much as I hate that about myself, I want to be the smartest. I want people to like me and enjoy my company. I need my house to be clean and decorated to the best of my ability. But WHY. I have a disease. 

   

From the minute we take our first breath, we are consumers. Born into a sinful world that preaches to be happy is to have, we must make our way. We become slaves to our reputation and our titles and somewhere along the road we lose who we really are and who we're meant to be in a forest of selfishness, "wants" and "goals" and ideals that we planted ourselves because we have been conditioned to think that is what life if about. The american dream. Reminds me a little of Jack and the Beanstalk but I'm Jack and I sold my one useful item for the promise of riches. But as I sat tonight thinking about how I am only slightly good at the things that I love, where others surpass me by leaps and bounds with their talent and success (pity party), God spoke to me. 

True value is not measured by the standards of the world. The world doesn't care that you prayed with that women at work today, but it matters to God and it's far more import to Him than that extra zero you want added to your paycheck. Success isn't bad. Do not misunderstand my words. Success is a gift from God because everything is a gift. I'm just saying we shouldn't be wasting our time chasing perfection or trying to fill a mold set for us by the world. God doesn't care if you're a CEO or working in the mail room. He doesn't care if you have a next level pinterest-worthy house or live in a house held together by sticks and mud in the middle of the jungle. True value is only found in Jesus. He doesn't look at your degrees and your net worth, He looks at what you did with it to further His kingdom. My disease and thief of my joy is my need to compare myself to others. It is a constant battle that with the grace of God I am learning to overcome. Though sadly my thief isn't actually a thief at all. That would mean it slipped in without my knowing. The truth is half the time I warmly invite the evil in, maybe not as I would to a welcomed friend but as I would to a distant relative whom I  kind of dislike but will willingly entertain while I have to. The point is, I opened the door. 

So back to the word basic. It can mean "base model, no extras, nothing fancy, just your typical everyday." But it can also mean, "forming or relating to the most important part of something." We are each in our own way absolutely crucial and fundamental to God's plan. The big picture. That being said, I will unashamedly accept being "basic" all day every day. I will stop letting the thief in and I will learn to live a life rooted in God's will for my life no matter how the small the return may seem by the world's standards. 

Hype Humanitarianism

Disclaimer: Let me start by saying this is not meant to offend anyone. It is simply a rant born out of my own conviction.

Because well known charities like the (RED) campaign and TWLOHA (TO Write Love On Her Arms) are so publicly supported by popular clothing stores and companies like GAP, Hot Topic, and Starbucks, the general public is now slightly more aware of different opportunities/avenues of which to give back to society- more so than they may have been in the past. I think it's great that these charities have been able to market their products to raise awareness for their causes and I'm sure they have been able to raise a lot of money because of it. Especially since they've been able to reach a younger demographic than maybe your average charity, that targets the settled and well off middle aged+ adult. All of this is great. I see nothing wrong with purchasing a shirt to support a cause. My only concern is with the phrase "raising awareness". I remember several months back people were all changing their twitter and facebook profile photos in order to "raise awareness" for some charity or cause and I was very confused as to what exactly they hoped to gain by doing this. Sure, people were aware of the opportunity to give to that particular charity or made aware that a problem existed BUT did that really accomplish anything?

I see it this way. Let's say during election season I decided to put a campaign sign in my yard for the candidate I thought would make the best president but never left my house to vote. But I went through all the trouble to post that sign in my yard, so I did my part to raise awareness that this candidate was a good choice to lead our nation. Sure I might've encouraged others to vote, but what did I actually do about it other than take a few minutes to post a sign?

As christians, we should want to do more than just raise awareness. We are called to do more than what is convenient. It's easy to buy a shirt or a pair of TOMs. But what if every person that bought a pair of TOMS decided to give an hour a week of their time to volunteer at a kids home or soup kitchen? What would it look like (Other than a bunch of worship leaders/youth pastors gathered in a room together)? I'm not trying to sound judgmental or say that buying TOMS or a (RED) product is wrong, but I strongly ask you to consider digging a little deeper here.

The root of the problems we face in the world today isn't that we lack the resources to change the state of things, but that we have become so comfortable where we are, with just buying a pair of shoes, that we think it is enough or that we've done our part. I've bought my TWLOHA/(RED)/TOMS bumper sticker so I'm good. Seriously? The Bible says to be "doers of the word, not hearers only." (James 1:22-27 ESV) Do is a verb here. Jesus didn't say "GO therefore and change your profile picture so that people know there are starving children in the world that need food". He said, "feed my sheep."

I don't want to leave this word with a promise on my lips. I want to leave this world knowing that I did all I could to change it. I'm not saying any of this stuff to sound holier-than-thou. This is just something I have been convicted of myself recently and I wanted to share it. We have to stop the hype humanitarianism somewhere. Let me put it into perspective for you. While you were deciding which color TOMS to purchase...

• One child dies ever 21 seconds from waterborne illness due to lack of access to clean drinking water.
• One person dies ever 4 seconds from starvation, most of which are children.
• One person every 20 seconds dies from AIDS, which is treatable with the proper medication and care.
• 600,000 to 800,000 individuals are trafficked each year.

I haven't even begun to list abuse statistics and drug and homelessness stats. But I think you get the idea. I don't see anything wrong with buying a pair of TOMS or a (RED) product to support those causes. But as a christian, I feel that I shouldn't just feel satisfied with something I can write off of my taxes at a later date. It's time for the church to be the church and put to rest this charitable complacency that has become all too familiar. It's going to be tough and uncomfortable but the fact that I am writing this from the comfort from a warm dry home full of food and clean water is enough reason to go beyond just reposting a photo to raise awareness. If you're going to love people as Jesus did, you're going to have to be willing to walk the walk as well as stick the bumpersticker.