Dating & Chipotle

There is a reason there are hundreds of apps and websites dedicated to dating. It’s somewhere embedded into our soul: a need for intimacy. Whether it be platonic or something romantic, we need it. God placed that desire within us before we were even considered. It’s in our very nature to crave companionship.  And it’s perfectly ok to want it and to want it badly.

However, I don’t think we should let being single get us down. Let me give you an example. I really want a cello. I’ve known for a while now that I wanted one. But I’m not quite ready to put in the time to learn how to play it so I’m going to save my money until the time is right. Or I’ve got the time, but not the money to buy the one I really need. And rather than waste my money on a cheaper one that would make anything I played sound sour, I’m going to hold off  for a bit because having good tone is worth it. (Because it absolutely is. Am I right, fellow musicians?)

That being said, I can be content in the knowledge that I can purchase a cello whenever I’m ready. And until I’m ready, I can be doing other things like research which cello is best and how to play it well. You can be happily single.

Now onto a subject that has me really fired up and probably my whole reason behind writing this.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you are not ready to get married and have a serious relationship with someone, do not start dating. If you don’t have a clear picture of the type of person you are looking for to spend the rest of your life with, do not start dating. Hate me all you want, but you will end up with a broken heart or breaking someone else’s heart when it was completely avoidable. I thought about this the other day at Chipotle.  I know what you’re probably thinking, but I promise I’m going somewhere with this.

I was driving down the road. My stomach was growling the loud chant song from the last Batman movie and I thought, I’m starving. I’m getting a steak burrito from Chipotle today. I pulled in the parking lot and was super pumped to get in the ridiculously long line and wait my turn for that delicious bundle of ingredients both marinated and anointed by the Lord and swaddled with manna from heaven. So I walk in to wait my turn. And as I’m getting up closer to the assembly line, I can see there’s a hold up. The guy a few people ahead of me doesn’t know what he wants. I hear him going back and forth with the servers, “Well which is better, steak or chicken? I think I’d like the steak because I love steak. But the chicken looks good too. Maybe both?” And I’m just standing behind this guy thinking, if you didn’t know what you wanted, why are you in line? People are hungry and waiting. I drove twenty minutes out of my way through horrendous traffic to get some Chipotle and now I’m tempted to just walk out. Finally, the guy decided on the chicken and moved on. The girl serving the food gave me an exasperated look and silent apology for the delay even though it wasn’t her fault. And I got my food and went on my merry way. 

And that’s where it dawned on me that dating is a lot like Chipotle.

If you don’t know what you want and you’re not ready to order, DON’T GET IN THE LINE. It just wastes time for all involved. Look at the guy ordering. He had no clue what he wanted and stood looking at the same two meats for ten minutes before choosing and the poor girl serving was confused and frustrated. Look at it from her perspective. She’s been there all day preparing this food to serve and this guy’s giving her the runaround before deciding to go with what the girl with the chicken has to offer. And here I am, having walked across Egypt for some delicious Chipotle knowing full and well what I want, and I can’t get to it because Mr. Indecision is blocking my way.

This is all I’m trying to say. When you date someone or decide to pursue a relationship without knowing your intentions going in or without knowing what you want, you are not only wasting your time but theirs as well. And it almost always ends in heartache for one of those involved, if not both. It’s a dangerous game and more importantly it’s being a poor steward of your love and affection. Guard your heart. Make it something that must be sought after so only those really and truly seeking it with the truest of intentions can have access to it. I promise it will be worth it.  All the lonely days and nights of longing for companionship will all be worth it and you will actually be thankful for that time if you’re using it wisely.