The world does not need more Christian writers. It needs more good writers who are Christians. -- C. S. Lewis
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
I feel exactly like this about musicians.
some more stuff.
Sometimes I meet people and wonder how on earth they were able to obtain a boyfriend/girlfriend. Then I meet their significant other and it all makes sense. Then there is the other side of that where I wonder how on earth some people are still single.
There is nothing more beautiful to me than being able to see God in someone else. In what they say. In how they act. In how they treat others. It spills out of them onto everything they touch. I guess a simple word for it would be character. It is a rare thing to find. And when it's found, I can't help but admire it.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
stuff
I've so much on my mind and heart lately. God's been pulling weeds out of me that were rooted pretty deep. One of those being fear. Because the truth is, I'm afraid of what God's calling me to do.
I've always felt God calling me into doing something musical. Music has always been a huge part of my life and I believe God has woven it within every fiber of my body. There is just something about music that moves me like nothing else does. It's like someone reaches down into my soul and strums it like a harp; it resonates with in me. That is an incredibly cheesy analogy, I know. But I don't know how to explain it really.
I've always felt God calling me into doing something musical. Music has always been a huge part of my life and I believe God has woven it within every fiber of my body. There is just something about music that moves me like nothing else does. It's like someone reaches down into my soul and strums it like a harp; it resonates with in me. That is an incredibly cheesy analogy, I know. But I don't know how to explain it really.
I've felt Him calling me to do this for some time now. But I keep throwing excuses at Him because I'm scared. I'm not a great singer. I'm definitely not anywhere near a great guitar player. My piano is limited. Why not pick someone better equipped and talented? I've been fighting this for a while, but God got a hold of me a few weeks ago and gave me a good shaking. I was sitting in New Testament class and my teacher was talking about when Jesus chose his disciples. I guess I should blame the felt-board stories from sunday school, but I always pictured the disciples as full grown men with beards and laugh lines. However, some of the disciples were actually several years younger than I am now when God called them to follow Him. And he didn't call the rabbis. He didn't go after the greatest scholars and political leaders. He called fishermen. He called doctors.
Because He doesn't care about the amount of degrees you possess. He doesn't care if you aren't the best. He wants to use you because it is in our weakness that His power is the most evident. 2 Cor. 12:8-10. When God uses our weaknesses, we can't boast. Because it is only through his power that we are what we are. There is no sense in being afraid. And what am I afraid of? Looking like a goob? Being laughed out for sucking so bad? It doesn't matter. because it's not about me. It's about trusting God. And if God wants me to get up on a stage and play a song that may possibly be the cheesiest thing the world has ever heard or if he wants me to lead a group of people in worship, as long as that is what He wants from me. I'll do it. I'm a servant. And servants don't choose the tasks they are assigned. they simply do what their master asks of them. no questions asked.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
J-Team '10
Looks like God wants me back in Jamaica this summer. Maybe it's to lead worship for the team or maybe it's just to check on my little man O'shane. Who knows. I don't know what God is thinking. I have no money saved. And I don't even know if there is a spot open, but I definitely feel that's where I'm meant to be. And if this is what God wants, He'll make a way.
I really should be studying for my biology test tomorrow, but here I am...
The subject of worship has been popping up in my life a lot recently. I feel like maybe it’s God's subtle way of telling me what He’s calling me to do? I don’t know. That's a whole different blog. However my point in writing this one is to just share what comes to my mind when I think about worship. And that is David.
David is one of my heroes. His prayers and songs were so honest and open. He sang when he was broken hearted, full of joy, when he screwed up, when he was convicted, and even when he was afraid. That is because David understood the true meaning of worship.
When I say worship, every person reading this will have a different idea of what that word means. To some, worship is just lights, guitars, a stage, etc. To others, maybe it’s singing a hymn or two before the pastor speaks. But worship is so much more than that. Since my dad’s in ministry, I've been in many different churches and I've seen many different styles of "worship". But I think somewhere along the way, it's become a selfish practice. People show up on sunday morning to get what they can out of worship and they fail to realize that worship has nothing to do with we want at all. And until that changes, we'll continue to miss out on something beautiful. Worship is sacrifice. It’s not about me and it's not about what I want.
I think David said it best. He'd fallen into sin and was told to buy a piece of land to sacrifice on in order to repent. So he went to this man in order to buy his threshing floor. The man told David that he could just have it free of charge. But David refused his offer. This was his response: "I will not give unto God that which cost me nothing."
To me, that is a perfect picture of worship. David didn't want to take a free threshing floor and give that over to God because God deserves something far more precious. Worship is costly, whether that be our time or even our dignity. I remember overhearing an older lady in our church talking to someone about the song “Undignified” one time saying she thought the song was silly and she refused to be undignified. She said that she was a Godly woman and to be undignified was just wrong. That was so sad to me. What is dignity but a pretty mask for pride to hide behind? As christians, we are to be like Christ. And Christ, the son of God, hung on a dirty, shameful cross for sins He did not commit. We actually talked about this in New Testament recently, but one of the main reasons Jews give for Jesus not being the messiah was because He was crucified. And Crucifixion was considered one of the lowest forms of punishment reserved only for those rejected by society. So why would the Son of God allow himself to die in such a humiliating manner? If Jesus could put dignity aside so that I might have life, that is more than enough for me to be undignified in my worship. Who cares what other people think? How can we truly worship when all we're thinking about is what others are thinking of us, the music being played, or songs being sung? Worship is falling at the feet of Jesus, pouring out all we are, and realizing who He is. True worship, pure worship, starts by the condition of our heart as we enter into it. It requires something of us. It is sacrificial, introspective, humiliating, and honest. Without that, the words are just words. The music is just lines and notes on a page. It is in that raw, honest moment of humility and surrender before the throne of God that we breathe life unto what we are singing. Worship isn't just singing how awesome God is, it's realizing how insignificant we are. I want my worship to be like David’s. I want my worship to be honest, and if that's crying out to God in anguish because I'm in a deep valley looking up at a mountain, than so be it. I won't let anyone tell me what worship is or isn't. It doesn't have to be pretty. Worship is too beautiful a thing to waste. And I would hate to miss out on that.
Maybe I’m just rambling now. It’s really late and I’m half asleep. But I guess I’ve heard/read so much about worship lately I just had some overflow thoughts. The end.
The subject of worship has been popping up in my life a lot recently. I feel like maybe it’s God's subtle way of telling me what He’s calling me to do? I don’t know. That's a whole different blog. However my point in writing this one is to just share what comes to my mind when I think about worship. And that is David.
David is one of my heroes. His prayers and songs were so honest and open. He sang when he was broken hearted, full of joy, when he screwed up, when he was convicted, and even when he was afraid. That is because David understood the true meaning of worship.
When I say worship, every person reading this will have a different idea of what that word means. To some, worship is just lights, guitars, a stage, etc. To others, maybe it’s singing a hymn or two before the pastor speaks. But worship is so much more than that. Since my dad’s in ministry, I've been in many different churches and I've seen many different styles of "worship". But I think somewhere along the way, it's become a selfish practice. People show up on sunday morning to get what they can out of worship and they fail to realize that worship has nothing to do with we want at all. And until that changes, we'll continue to miss out on something beautiful. Worship is sacrifice. It’s not about me and it's not about what I want.
I think David said it best. He'd fallen into sin and was told to buy a piece of land to sacrifice on in order to repent. So he went to this man in order to buy his threshing floor. The man told David that he could just have it free of charge. But David refused his offer. This was his response: "I will not give unto God that which cost me nothing."
To me, that is a perfect picture of worship. David didn't want to take a free threshing floor and give that over to God because God deserves something far more precious. Worship is costly, whether that be our time or even our dignity. I remember overhearing an older lady in our church talking to someone about the song “Undignified” one time saying she thought the song was silly and she refused to be undignified. She said that she was a Godly woman and to be undignified was just wrong. That was so sad to me. What is dignity but a pretty mask for pride to hide behind? As christians, we are to be like Christ. And Christ, the son of God, hung on a dirty, shameful cross for sins He did not commit. We actually talked about this in New Testament recently, but one of the main reasons Jews give for Jesus not being the messiah was because He was crucified. And Crucifixion was considered one of the lowest forms of punishment reserved only for those rejected by society. So why would the Son of God allow himself to die in such a humiliating manner? If Jesus could put dignity aside so that I might have life, that is more than enough for me to be undignified in my worship. Who cares what other people think? How can we truly worship when all we're thinking about is what others are thinking of us, the music being played, or songs being sung? Worship is falling at the feet of Jesus, pouring out all we are, and realizing who He is. True worship, pure worship, starts by the condition of our heart as we enter into it. It requires something of us. It is sacrificial, introspective, humiliating, and honest. Without that, the words are just words. The music is just lines and notes on a page. It is in that raw, honest moment of humility and surrender before the throne of God that we breathe life unto what we are singing. Worship isn't just singing how awesome God is, it's realizing how insignificant we are. I want my worship to be like David’s. I want my worship to be honest, and if that's crying out to God in anguish because I'm in a deep valley looking up at a mountain, than so be it. I won't let anyone tell me what worship is or isn't. It doesn't have to be pretty. Worship is too beautiful a thing to waste. And I would hate to miss out on that.
Maybe I’m just rambling now. It’s really late and I’m half asleep. But I guess I’ve heard/read so much about worship lately I just had some overflow thoughts. The end.
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